Now Choose Life

****unedited - written July 1, 2019 by Shallena****

So many of you are saying that I am strong. It is God's strength, not mine! He always, always keeps His word, for He cannot lie and still be God. His love for you and me has no boundaries. Yes, there is pain and terrible suffering on this earth--we have witnessed it. We have lived overseas and we have experienced sorrow and loss in the USA as well. There are none of us immune to it on this earth. The truth I have found is that there is only One who will never leave you or forsake you, there is only one who can heal all your hurts and carry your burdens. Only one who is steady and will never fail you. It makes absolutely no sense in my mind for us to reject our ONLY enduring source of hope and help when life is hard, when we are blind with pain. Have you read the story of Jesus? The torture, emotional and mental abuse, and suffering He endured to give life to the very people who were murdering Him, for the very people who would continue to vehemently reject Him through the ages...it's enough to make your heart break daily. I couldn't read the story for years because it hurt so badly.

Friends, Jesus is REAL. I can tell you from my own life. He has freed me from shame and regret, He has given me peace that passes understanding though I did nothing to "make it happen." Tomorrow I have neurosurgery. They are going to drill holes in my head. If they had told me that two or more months ago, I could have literally had a heart attack from fear. Tonight I will sleep, when I'm not praying, giving my heart and family in gratitude back to the One who gave them to me.
I could never accept the death of Jesus was for me. I was too bad, too sinful, too messed up. Besides I hated it. I wanted nothing to do with the murder of someone so wonderful. Before God gave me freedom, He helped me realize that my feeling was actually false pride, backwards pride. And then, praise God, He helped me realize that He died to heal my diseases! Jesus died to heal and save even me! Then He let me know that He forgives and accepts me--me, the girl who has always felt unworthy of love and anything good. I have always realized that God has given me an exceeding good life, even though I didn't deserve it. I was always afraid that it was too good to be true and that it would be taken from me. But God has healed me, and while humanly speaking it does look like all the good in my life could be taken away, I am not afraid. I believe God will heal my body, whether on this earth or after, that is His choice. It is so clear in the word of God that His will is for you and me to be healthy and alive, and I trust Him to do this for me now. It is not difficult, friends! He cannot lie so you can simply trust Him, just like the sweet, innocent, trusting eyes of our little ones look at us when they plead for help. How we long to help our children! God longs to help us even more. It is your choice and mine.

 "...today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, 20by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days... ."Deuteronomy 30:19, 20