Wednesday, 22 February 2023

A Special Kind of Love

 Shallena always had a special kind of love.

It was first seen in her family.  She loved her brothers and sister with a faithful fearless love.  When a mean boy tried to put Dale in a headlock, she hit him on the head.  When corrected, she pled guilty, but added, “I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to do it anyway.”  Many families deal with sibling rivalry – not with Shallena.  Her brothers and sister were God’s blessings.  I suppose that is why she wrote on Dale’s eraser, and put chocolate chips in Angela’s mac and cheese.  Why she adored her baby brother Levi, and spent hours on end playing with him, doting on him, and even crawling in his playpen with him.  She loved them so much, and thought how sad it would have been to be an only child.  It goes without saying she loved her parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the other branches on the family tree with the same loyal love.  For over 20 years Shallena shared with me – the luckiest of all - this special kind of family love.  She was the one who patiently listened to my frustrations, whispered in my ear, finished my sentences, and loved my life.  The one I planned with, dreamed with, fought with, apologized with, and prayed with.  I wish I had realized before how blessed I was to have a wife who loved me with no reserve and no regrets.  If you have somebody who listens to you and helps you, somebody who knows you and loves you anyway—somebody who can finish your sentences for you – you have a treasure.  Let them know how much you love them today.

Shallena had a special kind of love for children.  I was the baby of the family, and so I didn’t understand this for most of her life.  She would watch babies and small children, and she would understand and connect with them almost instantaneously.  Her big brown eyes would meet with theirs, and it was like they talked their own language – and now I believe this is the language of heaven.  She would watch their subtle actions, movements, words, and would know exactly what was going on.  She would throw back her pretty brown hair and laugh and play with them unrestrained – in all the innocence and wonder of childhood.  One of her favorite games to play with our children was to make their stuffed animals talk.  With her unique creativity and humor, those stuffed animals took on personas that amused and taught our children for years.  To her core she loved these precious little ones.  Her love of children flowed from a heart that was unencumbered by the baggage of pride and pretense.  She could be present with them in their simple innocence, and be completely happy.  It was this love of children that led her to become the founding principle of the Mentone SDA Team School in 2004.  It was an uphill climb, but she loved the children.  When the fruit of our love came to cry on our beds, she was there – listening, teaching, loving them every day.  Children, Mommy loved you with a very special kind of love.

Shallena had a special kind of love for the world.  As a child, her dad read her mission stories that thrilled her soul, and she resolved at a young age she wanted to be “one of them”.  When we met in college, it was our second conversation where we shared with each other our dream to be used by God to make the hurting world a better place.  She shared this love wherever she went.  Whether helping clean houses for older women who were a mess, lending a listening ear to a stranger who was hurting, or listening to downright creepy guys, her heart was always soft toward those in need.  She felt in herself the pain that others felt, and she suffered with them.  As a student missionary she requested to go to Belgrade – a hotspot in the ongoing Yugoslavian war at the time.  She was redirected to Albania – just next door – I was relieved to find that out!  When we lived in Malawi for three and a half years, there was a lot of pain in that community.  That resulted in a lot of suffering for her, but despite a rough and tenuous start, she found her place and lived her dream.  She was a missionary mommy for three and a half years of her life, and she could not have been more satisfied. The most meaningful and contented time of her adult life was our last year in Malawi.  I can remember sharing together the joy that God gave us – how blessed we were to share together the culmination of our childhood dreams.

Shallena had a special kind of love for beauty.  I have always thought flowers were pretty, but Shallena experienced them.  She would excitedly run and bend over and look at the intricate art of God that literally took her breath away.  She would take a deep breath and feel the perfume brighten her spirit – what a beautiful person she was.  “Oh, look, Jamie – isn’t it beautiful!!!”  The snow-capped mountains, a pretty agate or crystal, a flock of birds fanning their wings in vast formation, or the light dancing on the water literally took her breath away entranced in the wonder of divine creativity.  She didn’t just see the beauty of God in the world – she experienced and reflected it with all her beautiful self.  I can’t wait to see what she says when she sees heaven!

Shallena had a special kind of love for life.  Shallena was the sweetest person I have known – she was also one of the feistiest sweetest people I have ever known.  Some people thought she was only soft, but they soon found out they were wrong.  Her strong love of life and desire to be with her family was woven into her DNA and the fabric of her being.  For over nine years she lived with the threat that cancer brings, but she refused to live her life as if she were dying.  Giving up was never an option for her no matter the extent of personal sacrifice.  She has left us a glowing example of determination, perseverance, sacrifice, and faith.  She knew she did not control her own mortality, but she also knew she was bound and determined to do every single last thing she possibly could to have a little more time with her family.  For nine years she suffered through cancer and its treatments, but for nine years she recovered from them over and over again.  On the day she died, her sweet toes were still slowly wiggling.  Living was her choice, and God gave her the strength to do it day after day after day.  “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” Proverbs 24:16. The final rising will be on that great day when the sweet voice of Jesus calls her to rise and join those who will never stumble again.  Hallelujah!

Shallena had a special kind of love for God.  From a young age she wanted to serve Him.  As she grew she came to know Him more, and then she really wanted to love Him.  She always believed in something bigger than herself – the kingdom of heaven – and this gave her purpose in life even in the darkest of times.  It was beautiful to watch her grow into a deeper and deeper love for God.  As cancer and its treatment chipped away at her physical vitality, God bound Himself closer and closer to her heart.  She experienced His love, forgiveness, and healing on a deeper level because of her struggles.  This brought her so much joy in the middle of many sorrows.  She wrote her journey in her blogs, and they bespoke faith and love despite the daily mortal uncertainty she felt.  Blogs such as “He Loves Me” and “Once Upon a Lifetime”, “Now Choose Life” (printed in your bulletin), and “Being known”.  As her sojourn in cancer-land matured, her spiritual intimacy with God deepened.  She didn’t ask God “why me”, instead she asked, “why not me”?  She did not feel entitled to a life free from pain and loss.  She didn’t feel entitled to really anything – it was part of her beauty!  She prayed that her pain would be a blessing to somebody else.  She disciplined herself to write her ten daily gratitudes, no matter how she felt.  She shared her journey of pain and faith in her writing, and invited others to come and join her in trusting God in the middle of the unknown.  She was honest with her struggles, authentic in her journey, deep in her love, and steadfast in her faith. 

 I would like to take a brief moment here to say thank you.  Ever since Shallena’s original cancer diagnosis over 9 years ago, but more especially in the last 6 and a half years with metastatic cancer, there has been a God-ordained community that has rallied around our family.  As challenging as the road has been, God has loved us through this community.  Thank you for the encouraging messages, the admonitions, the food, the prayers, the songs, the unexpected gifts – the love in all of its various forms. I hope that nobody in this loving community feels disappointed in God now that Shallena is at rest.  Every Christian who dies faithful dies victorious.  This is a tribute to our loving God, and the way He encouraged Shallena through all of you kind-hearted people.

The special kind of love that I was privileged to share with Shallena is but a reflection of God’s love.  Shallena was not perfect – she was just a mortal like you and I – prone to err, but so eager to make wrongs right, and share in God’s grace.  We celebrate the way she lived it, and grieve that she is no longer with us.  On January 10, 2023 Shallena entered her rest – soundly and safely resting until Jesus comes again.  But the special kind of love that fueled her life – God’s love – is still burning strong.  He is still with us, and His love has not left us.  The most beautiful pieces of Shallena’s life were but a special demonstration of God’s creative power.  Now it is our turn.  Shallena’s work and love in this life are done, even though their influence lives on.  Now we get to take up the work – the sacred work of loving our families, loving children, loving the hurting world, loving beauty, loving life, and loving God.  The greatest tribute we could give to our sweet Shallena is to grow in our love for God and each other.  On her behalf, I invite each and every one of you to share in this abundant life, for that was the deepest desire of her heart.  No, more than invite, I plead with you -- if you have not surrendered your life to God, and given yourself over to His love, why don’t you do it today?  I can’t think of a better time, and this world desperately needs to know this special kind of love.  May God bless each of us today with more of His special kind of love.

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

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