New Fight Song

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you for your prayers. If we ever needed them before, we need them now.

I'm sitting here with the drug Kadcyla dripping into a port in my chest, going through my internal jugular vein, into my heart, and from there to my body. In an attempt to gain the upperhand on the cancer growing inside me. In an attempt to remain on this earth longer to be the wife I want to be to Jamie, and to be with and for my children as they grow.

We met with the oncologist this morning. She gave us good and bad news. The good news is that the Kadcyla has rendered the nine centimeter liver mass inactive, as well as several smaller masses.

The bad news is that there are several new small tumors in the liver, a different large tumor has grown to seven centimeters, and the lung tumor has grown. My oncologist said that usually cancers don't gain, but they lose specific receptors. In this case, my cancer was already estrogen and progesterone negative, and HER 2 positive, so her suspicion is that this clone dropped the HER 2, making it triple negative. She also said that these resistant clones usually develop after a person has gone through multiple lines of chemotherapy, and for some reason the cancer in my body has developed a clone earlier than is expected or common.

I can tell her the reason. I know, and have known from the beginning of this diagnosis, even when it was Stage 0 five years ago, causing us to leave Malawi the first time. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 This battle is not about me, and it is bigger than me. I do not have the evidence of victory in my body, but I am ready to speak. I am ready, by God's grace, to do what He wants me to do. With His power, and His help.

Today they drew my blood for genetic testing, and a liver biopsy follows in about 10-12 days. My next infusion on November 12 will be a different chemo combination. My oncologist told us that results of a phase three trial of a new immunotherapy drug for TNBC (triple negative breast caner) were published yesterday. It is expected to have FDA approval by the end of the year.

I am not despondent, though the temptation is there. We talk too much of the power of evil, too much of things that hurt. That gives them more power in our lives--minds, bodies, relationships. Jesus told us, because somehow we forget, "In this world you will have trouble." John 16:33 He wasn't trying to scare people. He knows what can happen down here. Life can be tough; it can hurt beyond words. He doesn't want it to be that way more than we don't want it that way. "But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Praise God for the victory! Let us speak of His love, His promises, and the hope we have in HIm, for by His stripes we are healed. By the pain He endured in this world, we can be whole. Let us choose wisely what we let ourselves think and speak. I choose to sing the mighty power of God! He is the one who gives me life.

Please, friends, never turn your back on the only One who can help you in your time of deepest need, the One who is with you through the hurt. It makes no sense. He didn't escape pain while He was here; you can't expect to either.

Please pray for me to do all that I can to help my body fight this, to focus, to persevere, to not give up! This is the truest fight for my life I have faced, and I want to give it the best I've got in me. With God, all things are possible!

We love and appreciate you all very much, more than you know! We thank God for each of you in our lives. Your prayers and support strengthen us. Thank you.