“That wasn’t a Bible study you led…it was an Ellen White Study.” Intrigued by the blunt honesty of a cute stranger, I said what anybody in their right mind would have said. “Why don’t you tell me more about that?”
“You said we were going to study the Bible, and we just read
quotes from Ellen White.” Her brow
furrowed veiling her earnest brown eyes.
She was new on campus and those sweet Southern brown eyes
sparkled with intelligence, and burned with fire. What kept her on my mind was that she was
more concerned about finding truth, than what I thought about her. She was cute for sure, but lots of girls were
cute. Actually most girls seemed
consumed with it, and little else. I was
looking for something different, and I couldn’t get her off my mind!
That first conversation burgeoned into many more, and it
wasn’t long before we found ourselves talking just about everywhere – walking
on the track, sitting in a tree, by the river, in empty music rooms. She was just so easy to talk to!! We shared a love of the outdoors, camping,
God, traditional family values, and service.
I can still feel the nostalgia of those balmy Berrien walks.
I was quite taken with this Southern Belle. She had this beautiful rich brown hair with
auburn highlights. It dazzled so bright
in the sun that you could look at nothing else.
At least I couldn’t. It was thick
and wavy, and she hid behind it like a buried treasure. She smiled easily with a guarded sparkle in
her pretty eyes, daring only the bravest man to try and get close. It just so happened, that there was a long
line of them. I felt pity for them, even
though I wasn’t much better off….yet.
Then the perfect opportunity presented itself – she didn’t
have a car, but wanted to surprise her mom for her birthday. Yee-Haw!!
Listen all you young men who are trying to convince a young lady that
she wants to spend her life with you – if you have a chance to drive 10 hours
one way to surprise her mother for her birthday, DO IT!!!!
Whew!! After that I
was in…well…at least with her mom. It
only took three more years to get in with her.
Then the day came that I had been longing for – February 3,
2002. We assembled, she looked so
beautiful all pure and white – it only took an hour, and that beautiful
treasure called Shallena Russell became my wife.
I was so excited, I thought I was done! That is because I was stupid. Now that’s a word my parents taught me not to
use, but I don’t know what other word I could put there. Not intentionally stupid of course (which only
happens to a few special people), but unintentionally stupid (which happens to
just about all young men when they are first married – bless you if you don’t
know what I am talking about). I cringe
as I consider the arrogance of my youth. I knew nothing about love. Now, 19 years later, I may have learned 1/8 of
an inch about the love mile, but then I thought I knew the whole thing. She stuck with me, believed in me, honestly
confronted me, and always supported me.
We moved through the stages of life – Medical School,
Residency, babies, a post at a mission hospital in Malawi, and what looked like
the dreams of life coming true. Then
came the rude awakening – an unexpected diagnosis of breast cancer.
Fortunately, the treatment seemed pretty simple and
straightforward, and on the surgeon’s good word, we believed a surgery that
removed her breasts would solve the problem once and for all.
Unfortunately, it did not.
A recurrence caught us off guard one week after our third baby was born,
and within a few days we received the diagnosis – stage IV cancer.
Well, that was almost five years ago now. I can’t explain to you what four and a half
years of metastatic cancer treatment involves.
For the majority of the time she has been on chemotherapy. Her hair has fallen out three times, her
nails have been eroded, her skin has suffered, and she has perennial bruises on
her body. A port-o-cath sits on her
upper left chest, and on bad days you can see the sleepless nights, nausea,
diarrhea, pain, and fatigue written all around those beautiful brown eyes.
She doesn’t think she is beautiful anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Shallena is more beautiful today than she has ever been. Cancer and its treatment – tempered by the
grace of God - have only made her beauty shine brighter. The beauty of dedication to her family to the
point of self-sacrifice. The beauty of
living generously. The beauty of looking
death square in the face and choosing faith. The beauty of guarding hope in the middle of
despair. The beauty of gratitude when it
could be so easy to complain. The beauty
of loving Jesus more and more each day.
The beauty of forgiveness freely given.
