Shallena always had a special kind of love.
It was first seen in her family. She loved her brothers and sister with a
faithful fearless love. When a mean boy
tried to put Dale in a headlock, she hit him on the head. When corrected, she pled guilty, but added,
“I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to do it anyway.” Many families deal with sibling rivalry – not
with Shallena. Her brothers and sister
were God’s blessings. I suppose that is
why she wrote on Dale’s eraser, and put chocolate chips in Angela’s mac and
cheese. Why she adored her baby brother
Levi, and spent hours on end playing with him, doting on him, and even crawling
in his playpen with him. She loved them
so much, and thought how sad it would have been to be an only child. It goes without saying she loved her parents,
aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the other branches on the family tree with the
same loyal love. For over 20 years
Shallena shared with me – the luckiest of all - this special kind of family love. She was the one who patiently listened to my
frustrations, whispered in my ear, finished my sentences, and loved my life. The one I planned with, dreamed with, fought
with, apologized with, and prayed with.
I wish I had realized before how blessed I was to have a wife who loved
me with no reserve and no regrets. If
you have somebody who listens to you and helps you, somebody who knows you and
loves you anyway—somebody who can finish your sentences for you – you have a
treasure. Let them know how much you
love them today.
Shallena had a special kind of love for children. I was the baby of the family, and so I didn’t
understand this for most of her life.
She would watch babies and small children, and she would understand and
connect with them almost instantaneously.
Her big brown eyes would meet with theirs, and it was like they talked
their own language – and now I believe this is the language of heaven. She would watch their subtle actions,
movements, words, and would know exactly what was going on. She would throw back her pretty brown hair
and laugh and play with them unrestrained – in all the innocence and wonder of
childhood. One of her favorite games to
play with our children was to make their stuffed animals talk. With her unique creativity and humor, those
stuffed animals took on personas that amused and taught our children for
years. To her core she loved these
precious little ones. Her love of
children flowed from a heart that was unencumbered by the baggage of pride and
pretense. She could be present with them
in their simple innocence, and be completely happy. It was this love of children that led her to
become the founding principle of the Mentone SDA Team School in 2004. It was an uphill climb, but she loved the
children. When the fruit of our love
came to cry on our beds, she was there – listening, teaching, loving them every
day. Children, Mommy loved you with a
very special kind of love.
Shallena had a special kind of love for the world. As a child, her dad read her mission stories
that thrilled her soul, and she resolved at a young age she wanted to be “one
of them”. When we met in college, it was
our second conversation where we shared with each other our dream to be used by
God to make the hurting world a better place.
She shared this love wherever she went.
Whether helping clean houses for older women who were a mess, lending a
listening ear to a stranger who was hurting, or listening to downright creepy
guys, her heart was always soft toward those in need. She felt in herself the pain that others
felt, and she suffered with them. As a
student missionary she requested to go to Belgrade – a hotspot in the ongoing
Yugoslavian war at the time. She was
redirected to Albania – just next door – I was relieved to find that out! When we lived in Malawi for three and a half
years, there was a lot of pain in that community. That resulted in a lot of suffering for her,
but despite a rough and tenuous start, she found her place and lived her
dream. She was a missionary mommy for
three and a half years of her life, and she could not have been more satisfied.
The most meaningful and contented time of her adult life was our last year in
Malawi. I can remember sharing together
the joy that God gave us – how blessed we were to share together the
culmination of our childhood dreams.
Shallena had a special kind of love for beauty. I have always thought flowers were pretty,
but Shallena experienced them. She would
excitedly run and bend over and look at the intricate art of God that literally
took her breath away. She would take a
deep breath and feel the perfume brighten her spirit – what a beautiful person
she was. “Oh, look, Jamie – isn’t it
beautiful!!!” The snow-capped mountains,
a pretty agate or crystal, a flock of birds fanning their wings in vast
formation, or the light dancing on the water literally took her breath away
entranced in the wonder of divine creativity.
She didn’t just see the beauty of God in the world – she experienced and
reflected it with all her beautiful self.
I can’t wait to see what she says when she sees heaven!
Shallena had a special kind of love for life. Shallena was the sweetest person I have known
– she was also one of the feistiest sweetest people I have ever known. Some people thought she was only soft, but they
soon found out they were wrong. Her strong
love of life and desire to be with her family was woven into her DNA and the
fabric of her being. For over nine years
she lived with the threat that cancer brings, but she refused to live her life
as if she were dying. Giving up was
never an option for her no matter the extent of personal sacrifice. She has left us a glowing example of
determination, perseverance, sacrifice, and faith. She knew she did not control her own
mortality, but she also knew she was bound and determined to do every single
last thing she possibly could to have a little more time with her family. For nine years she suffered through cancer and
its treatments, but for nine years she recovered from them over and over again.
On the day she died, her sweet toes were
still slowly wiggling. Living was her
choice, and God gave her the strength to do it day after day after day. “For though the righteous fall seven times,
they rise again.” Proverbs 24:16. The final rising will be on that great day
when the sweet voice of Jesus calls her to rise and join those who will never
stumble again. Hallelujah!
Shallena had a special kind of love for God. From a young age she wanted to serve
Him. As she grew she came to know Him
more, and then she really wanted to love Him. She always believed in something bigger than
herself – the kingdom of heaven – and this gave her purpose in life even in the
darkest of times. It was beautiful to
watch her grow into a deeper and deeper love for God. As cancer and its treatment chipped away at
her physical vitality, God bound Himself closer and closer to her heart. She experienced His love, forgiveness, and
healing on a deeper level because of her struggles. This brought her so much joy in the middle of
many sorrows. She wrote her journey in
her blogs, and they bespoke faith and love despite the daily mortal uncertainty
she felt. Blogs such as “He Loves Me”
and “Once Upon a Lifetime”, “Now Choose Life” (printed in your bulletin), and
“Being known”. As her sojourn in
cancer-land matured, her spiritual intimacy with God deepened. She didn’t ask God “why me”, instead she
asked, “why not me”? She did not feel
entitled to a life free from pain and loss.
She didn’t feel entitled to really anything – it was part of her beauty!
She prayed that her pain would be a
blessing to somebody else. She
disciplined herself to write her ten daily gratitudes, no matter how she
felt. She shared her journey of pain and
faith in her writing, and invited others to come and join her in trusting God
in the middle of the unknown. She was
honest with her struggles, authentic in her journey, deep in her love, and
steadfast in her faith.
The special kind of love that I was privileged to share with
Shallena is but a reflection of God’s love.
Shallena was not perfect – she was just a mortal like you and I – prone
to err, but so eager to make wrongs right, and share in God’s grace. We celebrate the way she lived it, and grieve
that she is no longer with us. On
January 10, 2023 Shallena entered her rest – soundly and safely resting until
Jesus comes again. But the special kind
of love that fueled her life – God’s love – is still burning strong. He is still with us, and His love has not
left us. The most beautiful pieces of
Shallena’s life were but a special demonstration of God’s creative power. Now it is our turn. Shallena’s work and love in this life are
done, even though their influence lives on.
Now we get to take up the work – the sacred work of loving our families,
loving children, loving the hurting world, loving beauty, loving life, and
loving God. The greatest tribute we
could give to our sweet Shallena is to grow in our love for God and each
other. On her behalf, I invite each and
every one of you to share in this abundant life, for that was the deepest
desire of her heart. No, more than
invite, I plead with you -- if you have not surrendered your life to God, and given
yourself over to His love, why don’t you do it today? I can’t think of a better time, and this
world desperately needs to know this special kind of love. May God bless each of us today with more of
His special kind of love.
“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
